The Captain of Karate

Sitting down to craft an end-of-the-year compliment about every other student in the class is no easy task.  What if you can't think of anything specific?  What if there's some bad blood between you and one of your classmates?  What do you write when you get to your own name?  And perhaps most importantly, how can you heavily influence what others write about you? 

If you ever find yourself in a similar position or have to write a short note on a card for a co-worker you don't particularly like, take some tips from the third graders and their compliments this year.  You will surely leave the recipients feeling as warm and fuzzy as I did when Alonzo said this about me!

What if you can't think of anything specific?

   No problem.  "You're awesome" can work in any and all situations.  Kid you don't really work with too often?  "You're awesome!"  Want to get done quickly so you can play a math game?  Just "You're awesome!" your way down the page and you'll be done in no time.  Also consider applying "super duper" and multiple exclamation points to any adjective to fancy it up and make it seem more personalized.  "You're super duper smart!!!" 
  I did encourage everyone to try to think of something specific to really make a great compliment.  Some turned out to be extremely specific.  "You are good at drawing ducks."  Yes, well that pinpoints exactly where that person's talents lie, now doesn't it?

What if you have to write something nice about someone you don't like all that much?  

   It's OK to tell it like it is.  Pull out the one nicest think you can think of and then make use of those conjunctions.  "Maya plays with me but sometimes we fight." "Bryan is very nice but we argue a lot.  Like all the time."
  Another option in this situation is to affix, "in a good way" after whatever else you want to say.  "Sebastian is crazy in a good way" sounds completely positive.

What categories might help me generate compliments?

   Sure, the teacher might suggest school-related categories such as academic strengths, stand-out performance in drama class or in P.E., kindness, or classroom jobs.  Don't limit yourself to those.  Consider hair styles as well as height in your brainstorming.  "You have good hairdos."  "You are the tallest in the class."

www.cheezburger.com

   Or think of those times when there's a loud clang and everyone turns to see that something with 400 pieces has just toppled over.  "Owen helps people when stuff falls down."  Done and done.

  What do you do when you get to your own name?
   Simple--you can write whatever you want and it will sound like everyone in the class thinks this about you.  "Jaden is very handsome and smart at division."  You know, I hear Jaden is quite smart at division.  "Makayla is me and sometimes I help people with their work."  "(I wrote it myself.)  You draw beautifully."

How do you ensure that everyone mentions how good you are at karate?

  Play it cool.  Wait until the teacher asks for strengths that classmates might have to help with the brainstorming process.  Keep waiting while other kids suggest thinking of who really stands out at art, vocabulary, sweeping the classroom, or math.  Casually mention some category you just happened to think of that is actually the thing you like most in the world: karate.  Third graders are extremely susceptible to suggestions. 
  Selected compliments from Jackson's list:

Jackson is good at karate.

You're a great friend and good at karate.

You are like a karate master.

Jackson is a good karate person.  He might be the captain of karate.

You're good at karate.

Jackson has the best karate skills.

Jackson knows a lot of karate.

Jackson is awesome at karate!

Jackson is very cool at karate.  He's like a ninja.

To read more compliments, both the genuine and the backhanded, check out the haul from previous years here.  Or here.  Or here.

Aw Shucks

Not to toot my own horn, but Alonzo told me today that I'm his second favorite teacher.  So yeah.  I'm kind of a big deal.

clipartpal.com

I'm fairly certain this pronouncement was precipitated by today's mini field trip.  We went out to the Metro station down the block to survey people for a project.  Basically we encouraged children to talk to strangers.  They got to hold clipboards and ask questions.  They got to be outside in the sun on a mission.  They got to have busy grown-ups (including one who Michael referred to as "a fancy businessman") give them their full attention.

It was almost as awesome to the third graders as the time I brought in some foam clocks for practicing telling time.  The dollar aisle at Target had yielded an excellent deal, so I bought a few and brought them into class the next day.  As I took one out of the package, Donivan watched in amazement and declared, "You're the best teacher ever!" I handed it to him to use on an assignment and his gaze never once left the clock's googly eyes.  I'd like to imagine that this designation as "Best Teacher Ever" was coming after Donivan's deep reflection on the whole of his experience in the third grade and about how much he'd learned.  But no.  If you, too, have $3, you may just well become the Best Teacher Ever also.

Today, though, was at least not so much of a "Buy me stuff and I will think you're awesome" moment.
We had returned to school from the survey-giving and were working on something else, when Alonzo came up to me.  I'll assume that just prior to that he had been engaged in a deep reflection on the whole of his experience in the third grade (which just happened to include today's outing) and about how much he's learned.  He delivered the compliment with a huge smile and waited for me to soak it in and get the warm fuzzies.

Now, in the world of adults, "second favorite" means "You're good, but you're not the best," which really just boils down to, "You're not the best."  Gee, thanks for rubbing it in.

But for eight year olds, the standings are what the standings are, with no hidden implications.  Second favorite in a carefully ranked order is a pretty awesome position to hold, and worth sharing with the honoree.  "She will feel enormously complimented!" Alonzo must have thought.

And so I accepted Alonzo's pronouncement as a genuine appreciation and thanked him.

It did beg the question, though, "Who is your number one favorite?"  "My kindergarten teacher!" he replied.  I mean, who can beat that, really?  I'm quite content to be Alonzo's second favorite.

Talkin' 'Bout Mommas

There are times in elementary school when the urge to be mean arises and the internal voice of Dad or Ms. Sarah reminding you to, "Be nice!" "Think about how that would make someone feel!" or "If you don't have anything nice to say...." is too quiet or completely nonexistent. 

Mean stuff comes out.


It sometimes disguises itself as a compliment.  At the end of the year, when we write kind words about everyone in the class, a few insults always sneak into the mix posing as appreciation.

"I think that you always try even if you don't know the answer."

"She is very athletic for a girl." 

And my most recent favorite supposed compliment: "You're mean to people but not to me."


Next on our tour of elementary school insults is the putting down of one's mother.

Sometimes, though, there is no need to even say anything at all about a momma for it to constitute an insult.  A simple, "Your momma!" will suffice to seriously peeve a classmate.  Really, though, how do we even know what the ending to this incomplete statement was going to be? 

It could have been:


"Your momma...IS LOVELY!"

or "Your momma...WAS SO NICE FOR PICKING ME UP FROM FOOTBALL PRACTICE!"


But no--it doesn't matter what follows, just the fact that the word "momma" was invoked.  And, as I found out last week on our hike at Great Falls National Park, it doesn't even matter if the insultee actually has a mother.  We had stopped to use the bathroom before heading out into the wilderness and the boys were commenting on the facilities.  True, they were the kind of utilitarian restrooms you'd expect at a public park, but they served our purposes just fine.  From within the bathroom, though, I heard one of the boys declare them ugly.  Not satisfied to leave it at that, Harrison then launched a serious slam.


He proclaimed--of the bathroom, "It's MOTHER is ugly, too!"


Ouch.

Image: adacompliancereview.com

Summer

If the triple digit temperature today wasn't enough proof that summer is here, I'm finally done with the school year!

Last day with kids--check.
Progress reports written, edited, proofed, double checked, printed, copied, stapled, filed--check.
Parent conferences--check.
Math manuals returned--done.
Room cleaned out--yep.
Drawer of confiscated items--emptied.
Half of public library returned--eh, I'll get to it.

And now--I have time to look through the rest of the end of year compliments to everyone in the class. None can really top the one gem I found the other day, but here are a few others I particularly liked.

You focus on the thing the class is doing.

I like when your cheeks turn red which is funny.

Bridget is fancy because she wears fancy clothes.

I like that you follow the rules that I tell you to do.

You sometimes are not my friend but you are my classmate.


Then there's a whole category of compliments praising the absence of a negative. I have no doubt that the compliments in this category are sincere appreciations, they just all sort of hint at an unspoken part 2. "Unlike SOME people...."
He doesn't get into an argument easily. I like how you always pay attention and never are mean. You don't complain about your partners in PE.

Image: www.newrivervoice.com

What I Like About You

We're just days away from the big end of year goodbye--somewhat anticlimactic, though, as almost everyone will be back again in a couple of short months for part two of this second/third grade loop. Same classroom. Same teacher. Same homework passes, which may be redeemed in grade 3 after having been earned in grade 2. One student figured out that this was actually a remarkable return on investment. Earn a free night's worth of second grade homework and cash it in for the inflated value of a free night of third grade homework!

But a goodbye nonetheless. My end of year tradition is to have all of the students write compliments about each other and to compile them to present to each kid on the last day. When gearing up to write, we do a minilesson on what makes a good compliment--it's always positive and specific compliments are best.

On year, Shay received this compliment:

You are my friend and I like that and you can do the Robot.

When we presented the typed list on fancy scroll paper to Shay, she did the Robot.

Friends in the class are a piece of cake. "You're my best friend" always appears on the list of compliments between a few buddies. Less-than-friends, though, can be a stretch. Much though I try to help the kids brainstorm possible areas for compliments, model some examples, and review the two features of a good compliment, some compliments always turn out to be not particularly specific. Still others turn out to be not particularly positive. This year I haven't even looked through them all yet, but already I came across one that is rather amazing in its backhanded-ness and will definitely not be included on the scroll.

You're mean to people but not to me.

Image: wikimedia.org

Compliments

Wow! I received a great compliment today from fellow blogger and teacher, Sarah B., at Confessions of an Untenured Teacher. No, I'm not talking about the kind of pseudo compliments my kids sometimes give each other during our end-of-year compliment exchange, ("He is short but still smart")--Sarah gave me this blog award, and I'm thrilled! Sarah shares about funny moments in her classroom, the successes of her students, and is not afraid to share things that didn't go well in her classroom. Thanks Sarah B.!

I'd like to continue the compliments with some shout outs to other bloggers I love to read. And it's not because they can snap really fast or that they scoot their desks over nicely when asked, though I'm sure that they are all very fast snappers and polite desk scooters. Their blogs are great and you should check them out!

Ms. Teachin' at I'm a Dreamer shares inspiring stories from her eighth grade language arts classroom and I love to follow her ups and downs with the students. And talk about a dedicated teacher - Ms. Teachin' opened the school on a Saturday for her kids!

Mr. Halpern at Look at My Happy Rainbow finds touching and funny stories in everyday classroom moments. I admire how he can turn a cartwheel or three cookies into a post!

I want to give a shout out to fellow Teach for America alum Mr. D at I Want to Teach Forever for his multi-media reflections on teaching and for his bravery in sharing his journal from his first few years of teaching.

I am right there with Mrs. Awesome at Mrs. Awesome Blogs as she worries about every detail leading up to a school performance! And you, too, might just become a new fan of BUNCO after reading her description of the game.

An Army of Ermas just recently caught my attention, and boy did it suck me in! This is a great collection of posts from different humor writers, run by Stacey Graham. The "new generation of disgruntled housewives" tackles everything from buying undergarments to newfangled name spellings.

Go check them out!

Compliments

Well, it's getting to be that time. Our final performance is over, we're doing the end of year tests, recess is getting very sweaty.

At this magical time we call the end of the year, I ask students to share what they value about each other. Many children believe that one’s net worth as a friend is determined by some combination of how tall you are and how fast you can snap your fingers. They write compliments about their classmates, which I then compile and type up for each person to keep.

Knowledge of math facts is universally acknowledged among third graders to be quite admirable. Bravery with regard to ferocious animals, while less common, also appears to be a trait worth having. Some of the compliments are extremely specific and remarkably accurate. You know, Da’Von is quite skilled at unjamming the stapler, now that you mention it.

He is brave. He is not scared of dangerous animals.

What’s great about Melvin is that when you ask him to scoot his desk over, he does it nicely.

She is gentle. She never push when she is trying to go somewhere.

He is very smart and cool because he helped me with riddles.

She is a very good dancer. I seen her dance at recess

He can snap really fast.

He has great information about Dragon Ball Z.


Some compliments are a bit of a stretch.

She is very athletic for a girl.

She is the tallest girl of girls and boys in the class.

He is short but still smart.