Talkin' 'Bout Mommas

There are times in elementary school when the urge to be mean arises and the internal voice of Dad or Ms. Sarah reminding you to, "Be nice!" "Think about how that would make someone feel!" or "If you don't have anything nice to say...." is too quiet or completely nonexistent. 

Mean stuff comes out.


It sometimes disguises itself as a compliment.  At the end of the year, when we write kind words about everyone in the class, a few insults always sneak into the mix posing as appreciation.

"I think that you always try even if you don't know the answer."

"She is very athletic for a girl." 

And my most recent favorite supposed compliment: "You're mean to people but not to me."


Next on our tour of elementary school insults is the putting down of one's mother.

Sometimes, though, there is no need to even say anything at all about a momma for it to constitute an insult.  A simple, "Your momma!" will suffice to seriously peeve a classmate.  Really, though, how do we even know what the ending to this incomplete statement was going to be? 

It could have been:


"Your momma...IS LOVELY!"

or "Your momma...WAS SO NICE FOR PICKING ME UP FROM FOOTBALL PRACTICE!"


But no--it doesn't matter what follows, just the fact that the word "momma" was invoked.  And, as I found out last week on our hike at Great Falls National Park, it doesn't even matter if the insultee actually has a mother.  We had stopped to use the bathroom before heading out into the wilderness and the boys were commenting on the facilities.  True, they were the kind of utilitarian restrooms you'd expect at a public park, but they served our purposes just fine.  From within the bathroom, though, I heard one of the boys declare them ugly.  Not satisfied to leave it at that, Harrison then launched a serious slam.


He proclaimed--of the bathroom, "It's MOTHER is ugly, too!"


Ouch.

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