McSweeney's

Every day as the last thing I do in my classroom before heading home, I check my mailbox.

Fan mail today?  Nope.  Just two notes about needing a new dry erase marker and a complaint about a boy that sits nearby on the carpet.

How about now?  Out of luck.  But there is a notebook request that starts with a rather unique opening for someone asking a favor.  Plus a question about when we're going to have the pretzels for snack.

Today there's got to be some....OK--not so much "fan mail" as "petition to move to a new table."

But today, I did get some actual fan mail--not in my classroom mailbox, but via email from a complete stranger who read my McSweeney's list today.  I do love the fan mail!  Complaint notes, though--those I could do without.

Check out my McSweeney's list here!

And if you want to pre-order the newest couch from Crate and Barrel.....

Thank You Progress Reports!

I never thought I'd actually appreciate Progress Report Writing Season--a period so taxing that not only does it deserve capital letters but also a contest among my teacher friends for who can finish the beastly things first.  The race to finish all seven rather detailed narrative sections for each student is a fierce one and the loser has to buy drinks.

My process for writing reports is roughly as follows:

Write two students' math sections.
Feel incredibly virtuous.
Consume chocolate treat.
Take a quick peek to see if any new emails have arrived.

Write three more students' math sections.
Pat self on back for such outstanding progress!
Check weather to see how impending storm is developing.
Fantasize about snow day.

Write one more student's math section.
Sigh.
Floss.
Think of idea for new blog post about effective but reward-oriented helpers.
Fetch bag of tortilla chips.

Eat chips.
Think about writing another report.
Email?
How about now?
Eat chips.
Facebook.
Set goal for what constitutes enough progress to deserve a break.  No.  Like a real break.  The chocolate/email/chips/flossing were just ever-so-brief pauses in a Herculean display of sustained effort.

More chips.
Think of idea for McSweeney's list.
Put all remaining energy left into writing one more student's math section.
Earn real break.

And so let it not be said that procrastinating from writing progress reports by wolfing down half a bag of Hint of Lime tortilla chips never got me anywhere.

I'm on McSweeney's today!