Bulldozers

Brandon has clearly spent a good deal of time analyzing the situation. He's considered many different factors, has made a list of materials needed, and is now ready to share his master plan with the world. I was the lucky audience this morning for his big reveal. "I know how to bring someone back from the dead."

"Oh yeah?" I asked, not yet realizing just how much thought Brandon had put into this. The main problem with lifelessness, he seems to have deduced, is the lack of moving blood. The solution? Well--move the blood of course! And what better way to move your blood than tiny bulldozers in your blood vessels to "push the blood back and forth." Brilliant! At this point I was partially convinced that he was onto something. "Yeah, and then you have sensors in their cheeks so they can sense when food is near." I mean, obviously the second major problem with the dead is that they can't tell when it's time to eat.

When the principal walked in during our conversation, I told her that Brandon had come up with a pretty amazing procedure for reviving the dead and made him explain the little bulldozers all over again. "Doesn't he have quite the plan?" I asked her. "It would use math though" Brandon replied. Another thing this plan would apparently involve is welding. I'm not sure I fully understand this part, but Brandon understands enough for both of us. "As long as my dad knows how to weld, then I'm in good shape."

Note to all of you out there who have access to both a welder and some microscopic construction equipment--you can cancel your life insurance policy.

Image: www.bjchangtong.com