Meet Fart--er, uh, Frank

In a recent story I was editing, Charles had chosen some names for his characters that he seemed to think were Pretty Dang Hilarious.  His editor, however, did not think they were Pretty Dang Hilarious, but rather Borderline Inappropriate.

I wasn't quite sure, though, where bathroom-related character names ranked on the Elementary School Scale of Hilarity, so I decided to break out the official scale to consult and to perhaps augment.

Fart Noises: Ultra Hilarious

Let's see....Charles' character names would certainly rank less amusing than fart noises.  I mean, nothing tops that.

Continuing to Make Fart Noises After the Other Kids at your Table have Stopped and You Don't Realize the Teacher is Staring at You and then Realizing: NOT Hilarious

Actually Farting: NOT Hilarious, except when it is Ultra Hilarious

Picking One's Nose: NOT Hilarious

But they'd definitely be more hilarious than nose picking.

FAKE-Picking One's Nose: Ultra Hilarious

Songs with the Lyrics, "BUTT-butt-butt-butt, BUTT-butt-butt-butt": Hilarious

Burping: Moderately Hilarious

Ah, yes.  Perhaps this fits more along the lines of a good, audible burp.  So now a little insertion for the 2011 revised edition of the Scale.

Story Characters Named Fart, Stink, and Poo:  Pretty Dang Hilarious

After a little chat about changing the names, Charles came up with some that he figured would pass muster.
photo by Quadrajet at

"Let's see..." I assume he thought.  "Fart will become Frank, Frank being the most serious and appropriate name I can think of.  Oh--and Stink will turn into Sasha.  Can't argue with that one."

The character of Poo was eliminated completely.

I am sure, though, that whenever Charles reads the story to himself, he'll be inserting the original character names.  I mean, Fart, Stink, and Poo are Pretty Dang Hilarious, after all.


Sarah said...

Haha, they're pretty hilarious in my book! I would just love to share that story with the parents :)

Sherri said...

I always think it's hysterical that, while fart noises are funny...actually farting is deadly.

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