Leg Knuckles

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  Everyone knows Jenga, right?  Or the term 'bachelorette party?'  I mean, even if you don't regularly play the block stacking game or if you've never been to a bachelorette party, they're just things everyone knows about.  Well, as it turns out, not Australians.  This weekend I was hanging out with an Australian woman and her entertaining little phrases.  Down under, if you're going out to celebrate a single friend's last night before getting married, you're going to a "hen party!"  Ha!  And apparently Jenga has not made it to the land of kangaroos.

  It occurred to me that speaking with someone from another country is not really all that much different from interacting with third graders.  They, too, have their own charmingly peculiar phrases and misunderstood pop culture references.

  The other day I was chatting with Michael and some other kids during lunch.  The subject turned to TV, and Michael remembered something hilarious he had seen recently on that one show.....you know....with videos?  "I think it's called, 'Videos That are Funny at Home.' "

Well, sort of.  They're not just funny videos, they're the funniest home videos, and those softball-in-groin antics could only be celebrated by and belong to and us here in America.  But yes, I get the gist of what you're saying.  Please continue to describe this exceedingly entertaining tennis ball mishap.

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  The next week, Jacob was helping out after school, though with less helping and more sliding across the room.  After one particularly clunky slide on his knees, Jacob stood up and exclaimed, "I cracked my leg knuckles!"

  When talking to an eight-year-old, you have to always be ready to translate their lingo into actual words or phrases.  You're hoping to get an rPod for your birthday?  Ah.  I see. 

  Now you try your hand at deciphering!  What were these children talking about?

• At snack: "Mmmmmm.   I want some more fa-LEM-entines!"

• In the bathroom: "Don't use that stall.  It's out of water."

• During writing: "It's a runaway sentence!"

• Settling a game dispute: "Rock, paper, scissors, SHOES!"

• On morning work assignment asking students to write a contraction: "One half."

• After being out sick: "I had something that starts with 'm.'  Those little people."